This is Hannah.
She was a happy, healthy and active 7 year old
when she was diagnosed with a brain tumor.
This is her story.
Friday, June 29, 2007
We had a good time last night at the girl scout outing to the Ducks baseball game. It was pouring down rain on our way there, and the game got off to a late start at 8pm, even though it was still raining. She enjoyed being there, watching the game and the hot dogs of course. Here is a picture of Hannah with Dad, Diane, Colby, Abby and Isabelle. And another picture of Hannah with QuackerJack, the Ducks team mascot. We left in the 3rd inning, at 9:30pm since it's an hour ride to get home. We did end up getting tickets to another game, due to the rain delay, so we might go again next week, we'll see.
Some good news, Hannah's MRI results looked good, no tumor regrowth. I have yet to see the full report, but we are so happy that the tumor is at least at bay. Hannah and I were talking tonight before bedtime and I mentioned to her that her MRI and her audiogram came out great. She asked me what the MRI showed, and I said that it showed her brain was there, and working. But, she kept pressing the issue, and asked me if it showed were the tumor was. I told her, yes, it showed that the tumor was GONE. Then amazingly, she told me she wanted to see side by side pictures of her MRI with the tumor and the MRI without the tumor. Sometimes, she is smart beyond her years.
I then spent some time talking to her about her port and how we could make the whole experience better for her. I told her we could brainstorm ideas for how to make it easier for her. She said all the ideas I had were "dumb", and most of them probably were, but I was just trying to come up with something that she may be able to latch onto to take her mind off of the whole thing when they have to access her. I'm going to keep trying this approach of just offering other ideas until maybe she finds something she likes that may help her. She said she doesn't like it when they have to hold her down. None of us do.
xoKim
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Hannah went yesterday for her Audiogram and a follow up MRI. One of the chemo drugs is very ototoxic (damaging to the hearing), so they monitor that very closely. As soon as they see her hearing start to drop off, they decrease the drug dosage. So far, all is good, she actually tested better yesterday than on her test 3 months prior. She had ear wax removed from her ears by Dr. Mercier, so that could possibly be the cause for the slightly better test.
Then it was on to the MRI, which she doesn't mind, all except for the dye they had to inject into her port. Anything to do with that port is traumatic, so she was upset that they had to inject her, and then more upset when they said they could not deaccess her (which we were told they could do and did all the time.) So, after the MRI we had to trudge back over to the clinic to get the nurses to do it. We made it just before they left for the day, otherwise I would have just deaccessed her myself when we got home.
Now we wait on the results from the MRI. The waiting game is not a very fun game, but we just try to think positively and remember the words her neurosurgeon said after we forwarded him the last MRI in May ("her brain looks perfect").
The girls and I just got home from taking Riley to his first trip to the beach. Last year we discovered that he actually liked to swim in the bay! We throw the ball in and he goes right out and gets it. We love to watch him swim. This beach also is a good beach for beach glass, which Hannah and I love to collect. We have to be very careful about Hannah getting sun on any spots that had radiation, so I don't know how much we will be at the beach this year, but today was very nice, we had the whole place to ourselves. A little bit of normalcy.
xoKim
Then it was on to the MRI, which she doesn't mind, all except for the dye they had to inject into her port. Anything to do with that port is traumatic, so she was upset that they had to inject her, and then more upset when they said they could not deaccess her (which we were told they could do and did all the time.) So, after the MRI we had to trudge back over to the clinic to get the nurses to do it. We made it just before they left for the day, otherwise I would have just deaccessed her myself when we got home.
Now we wait on the results from the MRI. The waiting game is not a very fun game, but we just try to think positively and remember the words her neurosurgeon said after we forwarded him the last MRI in May ("her brain looks perfect").
The girls and I just got home from taking Riley to his first trip to the beach. Last year we discovered that he actually liked to swim in the bay! We throw the ball in and he goes right out and gets it. We love to watch him swim. This beach also is a good beach for beach glass, which Hannah and I love to collect. We have to be very careful about Hannah getting sun on any spots that had radiation, so I don't know how much we will be at the beach this year, but today was very nice, we had the whole place to ourselves. A little bit of normalcy.
xoKim
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Today was Hannah's second Tuesday of this chemo cycle. Again, no effects yet from this chemo. She has however, started to become more adamant and boisterous about her displeasure with the chemo, in particular putting in or taking out the needle from her port. She has gone from disliking it, but tolerating it, to outright screaming, and we have to hold her down. They told me today it is common, but it's not easy to go through for me or her. She begins the night before saying she is just not going the next day, then she usually has one or two crying spells about not wanting to be accessed. We try to distract her, but it's not really working any more. At least it is short lived after the needle is in and after it comes out.
She was however, very proud of her bandaid collection today. Last week we had picked up a small rolling bag, so that all of her collection would fit. It was so much easier, because she could bring it in today by herself, and it was one less thing to carry. Of course the first question everyone wanted to know was what new bandaids she had since last time. She showed them her animal bandaids from Joe and Colleen, her new Boston Red Sox Bandaids-which she says we're not allowed to use, she is saving them, her new tatoo bandaids from Aunt Susie, her Hello Kitty bandaids from Mrs. Baker, her new bandaids from Miss Trish in IN and her assortment from Mr. Tom and Mrs. Debbie, Grandma's friends in Indiana. She even shared her collection today with another little boy we finally met. We had seen this little boy a few times at clinic, and noticed his scars looked exactly like Hannah's. Come to find out, he had the same surgeon that Hannah did, and they live in Centereach. Today I spoke with his mom, and he does have medulloblastoma also, although his is large cell anaplastic medullo, which is what Hannah's was thought to be at first, and he had two spots on his spine also. LC/A Medullo is more serious than standard medullo, and treated more aggressively. He is such a sweeet little boy, 5 years old and needed a new bandaid. There was Hannah to the rescue, with many to choose from.
They left Hannah accessed today because tomorrow she goes in for her 3 month follow up brain MRI, and she will have an audiogram as well. Another trip to New Hyde Park, thank goodness for the entertainment system in the car, it's been absolutely wonderful for the long drives there and back.
I wanted to share this picture from last week of swimming at Abby's. Pictured here with Hannah-on the duckie-is Colby, Abby, Emilie and Tori. They really had a good time.
xoKim
She was however, very proud of her bandaid collection today. Last week we had picked up a small rolling bag, so that all of her collection would fit. It was so much easier, because she could bring it in today by herself, and it was one less thing to carry. Of course the first question everyone wanted to know was what new bandaids she had since last time. She showed them her animal bandaids from Joe and Colleen, her new Boston Red Sox Bandaids-which she says we're not allowed to use, she is saving them, her new tatoo bandaids from Aunt Susie, her Hello Kitty bandaids from Mrs. Baker, her new bandaids from Miss Trish in IN and her assortment from Mr. Tom and Mrs. Debbie, Grandma's friends in Indiana. She even shared her collection today with another little boy we finally met. We had seen this little boy a few times at clinic, and noticed his scars looked exactly like Hannah's. Come to find out, he had the same surgeon that Hannah did, and they live in Centereach. Today I spoke with his mom, and he does have medulloblastoma also, although his is large cell anaplastic medullo, which is what Hannah's was thought to be at first, and he had two spots on his spine also. LC/A Medullo is more serious than standard medullo, and treated more aggressively. He is such a sweeet little boy, 5 years old and needed a new bandaid. There was Hannah to the rescue, with many to choose from.
They left Hannah accessed today because tomorrow she goes in for her 3 month follow up brain MRI, and she will have an audiogram as well. Another trip to New Hyde Park, thank goodness for the entertainment system in the car, it's been absolutely wonderful for the long drives there and back.
I wanted to share this picture from last week of swimming at Abby's. Pictured here with Hannah-on the duckie-is Colby, Abby, Emilie and Tori. They really had a good time.
xoKim
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Hannah's been very busy this week with the last days of school. She was able to attend school on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday mornings. She had a part in her class play, and enjoyed all of the party activities with her class. She was quite tired this week after her chemo treatment on Tuesday, and either went to bed early, or sometimes took naps. Other than that, she shows no signs from the chemo yet.
We did have to get her a new case (with rollers on it) to carry all of her bandaids. I tried to talk her into just taking SOME of them to clinic, and leaving the rest at home, but she didn't want any part of that. Thank you all for all of your wonderful bandaids. The last prized addition to her collection was a special delivery of Boston Red Sox bandaids-at which she just smiled and rolled her eyes. I told her that they didn't make these any more, and our Boston Hat man got them especially for her from Boston EMT's. They are great! She can't wait to take her new roller case in on Tuesday to show everyone her new additions to the collection.
We went swimming on Thursday after school. She had a good time, and even tried to give me a heart attack by jumping off the diving board. She did quite a bit of swimming and eating and a bit of resting too when the water got too cold.
Hannah announced that she wanted to go to horseback riding on Saturday. I thought she just wanted to go to watch, but she wanted to ride! She did ride, and did great. She looked much stronger than last time she went, she was walking and trotting and participated in the entire 1 hour lesson. We have seen improvement lately in her balance and coordination. She has been working hard at physical and occupational therapy. Our school will begin to provide physical, occupational and speech therapy for the summer beginning in July. In addition to two days of school therapy, we will also continue with her outpatient therapy at North Fork Physical therapy 2 days a week. Hannah will also continue with school tutoring. Her school teacher will begin working with her at home beginning tomorrow. Also, Colby and Hannah begin piano lessons tomorrow. They were both taking them previously, but have not had piano lessons this year. We will be very busy this summer!
xo Kim
We did have to get her a new case (with rollers on it) to carry all of her bandaids. I tried to talk her into just taking SOME of them to clinic, and leaving the rest at home, but she didn't want any part of that. Thank you all for all of your wonderful bandaids. The last prized addition to her collection was a special delivery of Boston Red Sox bandaids-at which she just smiled and rolled her eyes. I told her that they didn't make these any more, and our Boston Hat man got them especially for her from Boston EMT's. They are great! She can't wait to take her new roller case in on Tuesday to show everyone her new additions to the collection.
We went swimming on Thursday after school. She had a good time, and even tried to give me a heart attack by jumping off the diving board. She did quite a bit of swimming and eating and a bit of resting too when the water got too cold.
Hannah announced that she wanted to go to horseback riding on Saturday. I thought she just wanted to go to watch, but she wanted to ride! She did ride, and did great. She looked much stronger than last time she went, she was walking and trotting and participated in the entire 1 hour lesson. We have seen improvement lately in her balance and coordination. She has been working hard at physical and occupational therapy. Our school will begin to provide physical, occupational and speech therapy for the summer beginning in July. In addition to two days of school therapy, we will also continue with her outpatient therapy at North Fork Physical therapy 2 days a week. Hannah will also continue with school tutoring. Her school teacher will begin working with her at home beginning tomorrow. Also, Colby and Hannah begin piano lessons tomorrow. They were both taking them previously, but have not had piano lessons this year. We will be very busy this summer!
xo Kim
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Hannah did well today, and the only side effects from this last round appear to be a bit of tiredness. We left school early today, and she was very tired for Mrs. V, her tutor. She went to bed at 6pm tonight, right after she ate only an ear of corn for dinner. Otherwise, she has been her normal happy self today.
I have struggled on whether I wanted to include this poem here, but have finally decided to include it. I don't know who the author is, but I read it on an online group for pediatric brain tumors. This life is very hard to explain sometimes, so most of the time when people ask you how it's going, you can only respond "ok". It is not a rosy poem, it's a quick glimpse into the life of a child who has cancer. These words are so true, although not that nice to hear. If you would rather skip it, I understand. Maybe not the best for young kids to read either. I certainly HOPE it will never be anything any of you will ever have to hear. We need a cure for this awful childhood disease so that no other child will suffer this way.
xoKim
I HOPE YOU NEVER UNDERSTAND
I hope you never have to hear the words
“Your child has cancer”.
I hope you never have to hear
“The prognosis is not good”.
I hope you never have to watch your child
prepare to undergo chemo,
have a “port” surgically implanted in their chest,
be connected to an IV pole,
look at you with fear in their eyes and say,
“Mommy will it be okay?”
I hope you never have to hold your child while they vomit green bile.
I hope you never have to feed them ice chips for lunch.
I hope you never have to watch the “cure” you pray for
slowly take away your child’s identity, as they,
lose their hair,
become skeletal,
develop severe acne,
become barely able to walk or move,
and look at you with hope in their eyes and say,
“Mommy will it be okay?”
I hope you never have to stay in the hospital for weeks at a time,
where there is no privacy, sleeping on a slab, your face to the wall,
where you cry in muffled silence.
I hope you never have to see a mother,
alone, huddled in a dark hospital corridor,
crying quietly,
after just being told “there’s nothing more we can do”.
I hope you never have to watch a family
wandering aimlessly,
minutes after their child’s body has been removed.
I hope you never have to use every bit it energy you have left,
with all of this going on around you
to remain positive, and the feelings of guilt, sorrow, hope and fear overwhelm you.
I hope you never have to see your child’s head bolted to a table
while they receive radiation.
I hope that you never know what it is like to take your child home,
(grateful but so afraid)
in a wheelchair because the chemo has damaged their muscles,
35 pound lighter,
pale, bald and scarred.
And they look at you with faith in their eyes and say,
“It’s going to be okay Mom.”
I hope you never have to face the friends that have stuck by you and hear them say,
“Thank God it’s all over”
because you know it will never be over.
Your life becomes a whirl of doctors, blood tests and MRI’s,
and you try to get your life back to normal
while living in mind-numbing fear that any one of these tests could result in hearing the dreaded words:
“The cancer has returned”.
I hope you never have to experience any of these things.
Because only then
Can you really understand.
I have struggled on whether I wanted to include this poem here, but have finally decided to include it. I don't know who the author is, but I read it on an online group for pediatric brain tumors. This life is very hard to explain sometimes, so most of the time when people ask you how it's going, you can only respond "ok". It is not a rosy poem, it's a quick glimpse into the life of a child who has cancer. These words are so true, although not that nice to hear. If you would rather skip it, I understand. Maybe not the best for young kids to read either. I certainly HOPE it will never be anything any of you will ever have to hear. We need a cure for this awful childhood disease so that no other child will suffer this way.
xoKim
I HOPE YOU NEVER UNDERSTAND
I hope you never have to hear the words
“Your child has cancer”.
I hope you never have to hear
“The prognosis is not good”.
I hope you never have to watch your child
prepare to undergo chemo,
have a “port” surgically implanted in their chest,
be connected to an IV pole,
look at you with fear in their eyes and say,
“Mommy will it be okay?”
I hope you never have to hold your child while they vomit green bile.
I hope you never have to feed them ice chips for lunch.
I hope you never have to watch the “cure” you pray for
slowly take away your child’s identity, as they,
lose their hair,
become skeletal,
develop severe acne,
become barely able to walk or move,
and look at you with hope in their eyes and say,
“Mommy will it be okay?”
I hope you never have to stay in the hospital for weeks at a time,
where there is no privacy, sleeping on a slab, your face to the wall,
where you cry in muffled silence.
I hope you never have to see a mother,
alone, huddled in a dark hospital corridor,
crying quietly,
after just being told “there’s nothing more we can do”.
I hope you never have to watch a family
wandering aimlessly,
minutes after their child’s body has been removed.
I hope you never have to use every bit it energy you have left,
with all of this going on around you
to remain positive, and the feelings of guilt, sorrow, hope and fear overwhelm you.
I hope you never have to see your child’s head bolted to a table
while they receive radiation.
I hope that you never know what it is like to take your child home,
(grateful but so afraid)
in a wheelchair because the chemo has damaged their muscles,
35 pound lighter,
pale, bald and scarred.
And they look at you with faith in their eyes and say,
“It’s going to be okay Mom.”
I hope you never have to face the friends that have stuck by you and hear them say,
“Thank God it’s all over”
because you know it will never be over.
Your life becomes a whirl of doctors, blood tests and MRI’s,
and you try to get your life back to normal
while living in mind-numbing fear that any one of these tests could result in hearing the dreaded words:
“The cancer has returned”.
I hope you never have to experience any of these things.
Because only then
Can you really understand.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Hannah went in today for her first of 4 outpatient chemo treatments for Round 3. Today she had Carboplatin (a sister drug to cisplatin, the first vey hard drug) and Vincristine (which gives most people reactions, anywhere from moderate to very severe. Hannah had the eye droop the first time). Although we had to wait 3 hours before they actually started the chemo, Hannah handled it very well and had no immediate reactions. I have noticed that most of the time, it takes at least 24 hours to get any reaction, so we'll see how she does by morning, but so far so good. I am also hoping that a supplement-Vitamin E-that Hannah is now taking will help eliminate the neuropathy she experienced previously. We had researched this quite extensively and provided her doctor with supporting documentation about the effect of Vitamin E with regards to neuropathy, ototoxicity (hearing) and nephrotoxicity (kidneys). He agreed that the results of the studies looked promising, without lowering the efficacy of the chemo drugs, so we put her on a daily regimen beginning this week, which will continue until a few months after the end of chemo.
She spent quite a bit of time today with her hospital tutor, Mrs. Warshaw. We met her for the first time today, and she will be tutoring Hannah anytime we are in the hospital, coordinating her work with her at home summer tutor. Mrs. Volinksi will be tutoring Hannah still this week and next week Hannah will begin working with her current 2nd grade teacher, Mrs. Tepfenhardt as her summer tutor. Our school district has really been amazing in providing everything that Hannah needs, including tutoring throughout the summer both at home and in the hospital, which I have been told is not always the norm. We are so grateful that they have been so accomodating and easy to work with.
Next week while in for chemo again, Hannah will see Mrs. Warshaw, as well as a music therapist whom we met today. She is a very nice lady who said she has all sorts of instruments for Hannah to try out. Hannah seemed pretty happy and interested in that.
Hannah weighed in today at a whopping 19.5 kilos (42.9 pounds), WOW! Before she had surgery she weighed 19.1 kilos, so we are so happy to see that she is now putting on the pounds, although she is still very slight for her age. The doctor said that when she reaches about 21 kilos we will start to scale back the appetite stimulant a bit, we don't want her gaining too much too quickly. Thanks Uncle Mike for the food group data, that is just about right for our house right now.
Hannah was very proud today of her bandaid collection. She showed Rob (the tech who does the finger sticks), Jan (childlife) and all the nurses. Everyone gathers around to see what new bandaids Hannah has. We now officially need a bigger bandaid box since ours burst open in the middle of the waiting room...just too many bandaids in it. Thank you all for sending them, it really has been a lot of fun for her.
This week is our last week of school. Hannah class performing a play about the mixed up States of America. Hannah does have a part, she is one of the 5 narrarators. Tomorrow they are putting it on for the school and Thursday for the parents. She has two lines that we have been working on memorizing. We'll let you know how it goes.
xoxoKim
She spent quite a bit of time today with her hospital tutor, Mrs. Warshaw. We met her for the first time today, and she will be tutoring Hannah anytime we are in the hospital, coordinating her work with her at home summer tutor. Mrs. Volinksi will be tutoring Hannah still this week and next week Hannah will begin working with her current 2nd grade teacher, Mrs. Tepfenhardt as her summer tutor. Our school district has really been amazing in providing everything that Hannah needs, including tutoring throughout the summer both at home and in the hospital, which I have been told is not always the norm. We are so grateful that they have been so accomodating and easy to work with.
Next week while in for chemo again, Hannah will see Mrs. Warshaw, as well as a music therapist whom we met today. She is a very nice lady who said she has all sorts of instruments for Hannah to try out. Hannah seemed pretty happy and interested in that.
Hannah weighed in today at a whopping 19.5 kilos (42.9 pounds), WOW! Before she had surgery she weighed 19.1 kilos, so we are so happy to see that she is now putting on the pounds, although she is still very slight for her age. The doctor said that when she reaches about 21 kilos we will start to scale back the appetite stimulant a bit, we don't want her gaining too much too quickly. Thanks Uncle Mike for the food group data, that is just about right for our house right now.
Hannah was very proud today of her bandaid collection. She showed Rob (the tech who does the finger sticks), Jan (childlife) and all the nurses. Everyone gathers around to see what new bandaids Hannah has. We now officially need a bigger bandaid box since ours burst open in the middle of the waiting room...just too many bandaids in it. Thank you all for sending them, it really has been a lot of fun for her.
This week is our last week of school. Hannah class performing a play about the mixed up States of America. Hannah does have a part, she is one of the 5 narrarators. Tomorrow they are putting it on for the school and Thursday for the parents. She has two lines that we have been working on memorizing. We'll let you know how it goes.
xoxoKim
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Hannah talked her Grandma and Grandpa into staying for the Strawberry Festival today. I overheard Grandma telling her that she could stay all day at the festival if she wanted...wrong answer! We went at 10:30am and got home at 4:30pm. It was a beautiful day, and we all had a fund but tiring time. We took turns going on the rides with Hannah based on which ones I thought I would get sick on. Thankfully, she's still one step down from the really scary rides! The festival is run by the East End Lions, which donates all of their profits to charities. It's a great event they put on every year and fun for everyone in the community. Here are some pictures of our all day affair.
Hannah and dad on the merry go round. Hannah eating her first ear of roasted corn for the day.
Hannah shooting hoops.
Hannah with the 2006-2007 Strawberry Festival Queen, getting ready to crown the 2007-2008 queen. Last year's queen was our very dear friend Kristin, who has been babysitting the girls since the beginning. She is like a member of the family and we love her! We were so excited to see her, since we have been trying to get together with her since this whole craziness started.
Our whole family together.
xoxo Kim
Hannah and dad on the merry go round. Hannah eating her first ear of roasted corn for the day.
Hannah shooting hoops.
Hannah with the 2006-2007 Strawberry Festival Queen, getting ready to crown the 2007-2008 queen. Last year's queen was our very dear friend Kristin, who has been babysitting the girls since the beginning. She is like a member of the family and we love her! We were so excited to see her, since we have been trying to get together with her since this whole craziness started.
Our whole family together.
xoxo Kim
Friday, June 15, 2007
Hannah has been doing well since we got home, continuing to get stronger. The appetite stimulant has now REALLY kicked into gear, she's eating more than anyone in the family at times. Tonight, she ate 11 ravioli, and asked for more. I made her slow down, in fear that she would overload and end up being sick. She did finally slow down a bit. It's nice to see her eat, and put back on a little weight before our next round of chemo. She is up to a whopping 18.7 kilos (41.2 pounds).
She has been tolerating her IV medicine well. I was able to deaccess her this morning, thank you Stephanie for the training. I was so nervous, but didn't want her to know it. She wasn't so happy about me doing it to begin with. It was so easy, and came right out without any problems. Unfortunately, she only had the needle out for an hour before the home care nurse came to put the other one back in. I didn't think about it ahead of time, but we did not put EMLA-the numbing cream on her site before the nurse came. So, it was like poking a sharp needle into your skin without any anesthesia. The nurse didn't get it in the first time, so she had to poke her twice. I can imagine how that hurt, and Hannah was very upset.
She was a trooper though, and rallied and we left to attend school for the first time in a while. We were able to do a little work with the class, then lunch and then Hannah and her class prepared for her upcoming play. Her teacher there has been great, and they had saved a part for Hannah. She said she was a bit nervous reading her part for the first time-they were on stage, but by the second time, it was old hat. I sure hope she gets to be in the play, they are performing it on Wednesday for the school and on Thursday for the parents. Hannah has chemo on Tuesday, so we'll see how she's doing afterwards.
Hannah had a special visit tonight from one of Dave's friends, Rich and his wife Mary Kim and his mom. They had come to deliver a special package to Hannah that was just too special to be mailed. Here is the picture of Hannah with her TWO YANKEE SIGNED BASEBALLS!! The first ball says "To Hannah, Best Wishes, Derek Jeter", the second is signed by Bobby Mercer, Ken Singleton and Joe Girardi. WOW! She was so excited, almost as excited as Dave and I! Now that was some special delivery package, thanks so much!
Hannah has also talked her Grandma and Grandpa into staying with us for one more day. Hannah wants to go to the Strawberry Festival with them tomorrow, and with all of her pleading today, they just couldn't say no. Hannah is asking if she is big enough to ride the rides alone this year, even accessed, she doesn't care. I'm secretly hoping she is not big enough so that she can't go on the scary rides. We went over tonight to watch the fireworks, and had a great time. That is the closest we have ever been to the fireworks. Here is Hannah with Grandpa.
xoxoKim
She has been tolerating her IV medicine well. I was able to deaccess her this morning, thank you Stephanie for the training. I was so nervous, but didn't want her to know it. She wasn't so happy about me doing it to begin with. It was so easy, and came right out without any problems. Unfortunately, she only had the needle out for an hour before the home care nurse came to put the other one back in. I didn't think about it ahead of time, but we did not put EMLA-the numbing cream on her site before the nurse came. So, it was like poking a sharp needle into your skin without any anesthesia. The nurse didn't get it in the first time, so she had to poke her twice. I can imagine how that hurt, and Hannah was very upset.
She was a trooper though, and rallied and we left to attend school for the first time in a while. We were able to do a little work with the class, then lunch and then Hannah and her class prepared for her upcoming play. Her teacher there has been great, and they had saved a part for Hannah. She said she was a bit nervous reading her part for the first time-they were on stage, but by the second time, it was old hat. I sure hope she gets to be in the play, they are performing it on Wednesday for the school and on Thursday for the parents. Hannah has chemo on Tuesday, so we'll see how she's doing afterwards.
Hannah had a special visit tonight from one of Dave's friends, Rich and his wife Mary Kim and his mom. They had come to deliver a special package to Hannah that was just too special to be mailed. Here is the picture of Hannah with her TWO YANKEE SIGNED BASEBALLS!! The first ball says "To Hannah, Best Wishes, Derek Jeter", the second is signed by Bobby Mercer, Ken Singleton and Joe Girardi. WOW! She was so excited, almost as excited as Dave and I! Now that was some special delivery package, thanks so much!
Hannah has also talked her Grandma and Grandpa into staying with us for one more day. Hannah wants to go to the Strawberry Festival with them tomorrow, and with all of her pleading today, they just couldn't say no. Hannah is asking if she is big enough to ride the rides alone this year, even accessed, she doesn't care. I'm secretly hoping she is not big enough so that she can't go on the scary rides. We went over tonight to watch the fireworks, and had a great time. That is the closest we have ever been to the fireworks. Here is Hannah with Grandpa.
xoxoKim
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
We are back home now, we got home last night after 10pm. They don't have a definitive answer on Hannah's infection, the sample could have been tainted, or she could possibly have had some growth, especially considering that her fever has been up and down since her last round of chemo. However, the culture was positive for staph coag negative-which is pretty much on everyone's body, it just doesn't matter to us because we can fight it off and she can't right now.
They allowed us to come home last night, with Hannah receiving IV anitibiotics twice daily at home. That means her port is accessed and I have to administer the drugs via an IV with a pump system morning and night. I was trained this morning by a home care nurse, and although I think I could do it in my sleep from watching the nurses so often, it's a bit different when you have to do it yourself. I have to set up the pump, flush her port, be sure all the settings are correct, flush her again, heplock the port, watch for any signs of problems or reactions, etc. etc. I don't know if it's more nerve wracking than the shots or not yet!
She will be on these antibiotics until Monday, just in time for her to return to clinic on Tuesday for another round of chemo. This will be outpatient during the day only, at least that is what we are expecting.
So it's good to be home, we hope we won't have another stay in the hospital until July, when it's her next planned 6 day admission for chemo. Here is a picture of Colby and Hannah decorating Hannah's birthday cake in the hospital before they both had BIG pieces. Hannah and I made the cake, it was a 4 layer chocolate, white and lemon cake with wild bird animals! We gave the rest to the nurses, yummy!
xoxoKim
They allowed us to come home last night, with Hannah receiving IV anitibiotics twice daily at home. That means her port is accessed and I have to administer the drugs via an IV with a pump system morning and night. I was trained this morning by a home care nurse, and although I think I could do it in my sleep from watching the nurses so often, it's a bit different when you have to do it yourself. I have to set up the pump, flush her port, be sure all the settings are correct, flush her again, heplock the port, watch for any signs of problems or reactions, etc. etc. I don't know if it's more nerve wracking than the shots or not yet!
She will be on these antibiotics until Monday, just in time for her to return to clinic on Tuesday for another round of chemo. This will be outpatient during the day only, at least that is what we are expecting.
So it's good to be home, we hope we won't have another stay in the hospital until July, when it's her next planned 6 day admission for chemo. Here is a picture of Colby and Hannah decorating Hannah's birthday cake in the hospital before they both had BIG pieces. Hannah and I made the cake, it was a 4 layer chocolate, white and lemon cake with wild bird animals! We gave the rest to the nurses, yummy!
xoxoKim
Sunday, June 10, 2007
We're back in the hospital. We got a call at home at 12:45am saying that the culture had started to grow bacteria (at hour 22 out of 24 hours) so Hannah needed antibiotics and needed to come in right away. Although it wasn't an immediate danger, they have to be sure that they control the infection, especially if it's in her port. We drove in and came into the ER to be admitted. It was not a good experience, they had to stick her 4 times to access her port, which was very traumatic for her, especially at 4am. We came up to our room at 5am.
She did ask in the emergency room what day it was, and figured out that is was now Sunday and she would have to cancel the party. We'll have it another day, hopefully soon.
On the upside, I think the appetite stimulant has started to kick in a bit. When she woke today she had 2 donuts, and 5 hardboiled eggs! She asked yesterday why she was suddenly "so hungry." It's good to see her eat, but it doesn't seem to be a constant yet, as now she might not eat anything else today. At least it's starting to work so the fear of the feeding tube is gone for the moment.
We'll be in the hospital at least until Monday, when we get the results of the culture back. Hopefully back home soon.
xoxoKim
She did ask in the emergency room what day it was, and figured out that is was now Sunday and she would have to cancel the party. We'll have it another day, hopefully soon.
On the upside, I think the appetite stimulant has started to kick in a bit. When she woke today she had 2 donuts, and 5 hardboiled eggs! She asked yesterday why she was suddenly "so hungry." It's good to see her eat, but it doesn't seem to be a constant yet, as now she might not eat anything else today. At least it's starting to work so the fear of the feeding tube is gone for the moment.
We'll be in the hospital at least until Monday, when we get the results of the culture back. Hopefully back home soon.
xoxoKim
Saturday, June 9, 2007
Hannah's counts were up today, and no growth in the culture-
WBC 9.62
ANC 5950
HbG 10.8
PLT 142
They purposely raised her WBC and ANC so that when she reached her nadir (low point) approximately 10-14 days out from her last chemo, which would be this coming Tuesday or Wednesday, she wouldn't crash again and have to be readmitted. They knew Hannah had her birthday party on Sunday, and were happy to do their part to get her there!
We got home about 2pm and called everyone to confirm the party. We are due to come back to the clinic on Tuesday, our next chemo is the following week, June 20th, outpatient.
xoxoKim
WBC 9.62
ANC 5950
HbG 10.8
PLT 142
They purposely raised her WBC and ANC so that when she reached her nadir (low point) approximately 10-14 days out from her last chemo, which would be this coming Tuesday or Wednesday, she wouldn't crash again and have to be readmitted. They knew Hannah had her birthday party on Sunday, and were happy to do their part to get her there!
We got home about 2pm and called everyone to confirm the party. We are due to come back to the clinic on Tuesday, our next chemo is the following week, June 20th, outpatient.
xoxoKim
Friday, June 8, 2007
Hannah is feeling much better. Her fever went down by the end of the day yesterday and she was awake and active today. She spent 4 hours in the playroom today, I told her it was probably a record for the longest time ever spent making crafts in the playroom. Grandma and Grandpa came up to visit for most of the day, which helped raise her spirits too.
Her counts are better today-
WBC 1.51 Low
ANC 340 Low-most likely can't go home until it's at least 500
HgB 7.4 Low
PLT 117 Low
Due to the drop in her red blood cells now also, she had a blood transfusion today. Her body seemed to tolerate it well, so problems there and hopefully her blood will now stay at normal levels on it's own. The blood transfusion takes 3 hours, and she was in the playroom the entire time, so that's a nice distraction. Kids are so resilient it's amazing. No bacteria growth in the culture after 24 hours, so that's encouraging.
Her eating is ok since we've been here, however she refused to eat any dinner. Finally at about 9pm she had a candy bar and two pieces of chocolate. I told her that this was the last time for that allowance and she just smiled-she knows!
Waiting for counts tomorrow for a release.
xoxoKim
Her counts are better today-
WBC 1.51 Low
ANC 340 Low-most likely can't go home until it's at least 500
HgB 7.4 Low
PLT 117 Low
Due to the drop in her red blood cells now also, she had a blood transfusion today. Her body seemed to tolerate it well, so problems there and hopefully her blood will now stay at normal levels on it's own. The blood transfusion takes 3 hours, and she was in the playroom the entire time, so that's a nice distraction. Kids are so resilient it's amazing. No bacteria growth in the culture after 24 hours, so that's encouraging.
Her eating is ok since we've been here, however she refused to eat any dinner. Finally at about 9pm she had a candy bar and two pieces of chocolate. I told her that this was the last time for that allowance and she just smiled-she knows!
Waiting for counts tomorrow for a release.
xoxoKim
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Yesterday was Hannah's 8th birthday, she had a good day taking in cupcakes to her classmates (which she and I made together). It was something she really was looking forward to so I'm happy she was able to do it, even though it was tiring to her. The first picture here is a pillow case which Mrs. Baker made for her and all of her classmates signed. It is so special. I'm reading more and more about how important friendships and school relationships are to kids with cancer that are in and out of school so much.It helps them feel part of everyday normal life, and keeps them from depression and anxiety. We're so grateful that she has such good friends. Thanks to Ty also who came in just for her party with a broken collar bone!
She didn't eat that well during the day, but had 2 ravioli, a half a roll and even a piece of cake, woohoo!! That's a lot for her!
She went to bed crying that her whole body ached. She awoke this morning early to go to her clinic appointment to check her blood levels. She seemed abnormally tired, but I figured it was because we left the house at 7:30am. When we arrived, they drew her blood for testing and determined she had a temp of 100.4, which is considered a fever for a child with low white blood counts. Her counts were:
WBC .493 very low (should be 4.6-10.2)
ANC 43 very low (should be 2,000)
HbG 8.78 low but acceptable
Platelets 121 low but acceptable
So, she didn't have to have a platelet infusion after all, but now we're in the hospital. Because she was neutropenic (low white blood cells and neutrophils-the ANC) and had a temperature, she had to be admitted. Neutropenic kids are at risk to bacteria because the blood doesn't have sufficient neutrophils part of the white cells that fight off infection. Thus, everyday bacteria can develop into a life threatening condition.
She was admitted and her fever went up to 101.5. They started her on two broad spectrum antibiotics to fight off any possible infection. They drew blood and we have to wait 24 hours for the first read of the culture. If it's positive, they will change the antibiotic to something that is specific to the bacteria. If it's negative, they will continue the same antibiotics until the 48 hour mark, when the culture would show growth if bacteria is present. If nothing is present, and her ANC goes up, we will be discharged. Her ANC has to go up AND she has to have 2 negative cultures in order for us to be released. Therefore the earliest she can be released is Saturday. Of course, that's what were are hoping for.
Grandma and Grandpa just got into town today to help celebrate her birthday, just in time for us to go into the hospital. We hope to be home with them soon. Her fever is now down to 99.3!!
xoxo Kim
Monday, June 4, 2007
Unfortunately the weekend wasn't great for Hannah. She is not eating since this last round of chemo. It's a combination of the chemo, her type of tumor, and the sores she now has inside her throat (mucositis). The medicine for the mucositis isn't very pleasant, she has to swish and swallow it. She did it once and that's it. She can't even open her mouth all the way now because it hurts so badly, but still she won't take it again.
She is eating so little that the doctor today prescribed an appetite stimulant to help her. If this doesn't work, she will have an NG tube (common for medullo kids) which is the tube that goes down her nose to her stomach, and she gets fed that way. If it sounds bad, it is.
We gave her one dose of the medicine today, and maybe it's helping, or maybe it's my imagination, because for dinner with Dave she finally ate four bites of apple, four bites of peanut butter out of the jar (really good), 2 pieces of bacon, 1 piece of toast and some Hawaiian Punch and then 1/2 of a cupcake for dessert later. That's more than she has eaten in the last 3 days combined. I can't imagine the medicine is helping already, but as long as she keeps eating like that I don't care.
She isn't back in school, because her counts are on their way down, and she isn't in physical therapy again because of her counts, and thus very low energy.
I have been giving her the daily Neupogen shots at home, and so far so good. It's going better than I had imagined, and neither of us have gotten hurt yet, so that's good. Of course, she doesn't like them, but those great bandaids have REALLY helped. She picks one out before hand and then carefully places it on after by herself. Her latest were some great ones from Uncle Mike and Mrs. Graeb. Thanks!
xoKim
She is eating so little that the doctor today prescribed an appetite stimulant to help her. If this doesn't work, she will have an NG tube (common for medullo kids) which is the tube that goes down her nose to her stomach, and she gets fed that way. If it sounds bad, it is.
We gave her one dose of the medicine today, and maybe it's helping, or maybe it's my imagination, because for dinner with Dave she finally ate four bites of apple, four bites of peanut butter out of the jar (really good), 2 pieces of bacon, 1 piece of toast and some Hawaiian Punch and then 1/2 of a cupcake for dessert later. That's more than she has eaten in the last 3 days combined. I can't imagine the medicine is helping already, but as long as she keeps eating like that I don't care.
She isn't back in school, because her counts are on their way down, and she isn't in physical therapy again because of her counts, and thus very low energy.
I have been giving her the daily Neupogen shots at home, and so far so good. It's going better than I had imagined, and neither of us have gotten hurt yet, so that's good. Of course, she doesn't like them, but those great bandaids have REALLY helped. She picks one out before hand and then carefully places it on after by herself. Her latest were some great ones from Uncle Mike and Mrs. Graeb. Thanks!
xoKim
Friday, June 1
We came home today from the hospital. Hannah didn't have any more swelling, although her right eye is just a slight bit off it seems. Her doctor said today that now we know that Hannah seems to be very sensitive to the drugs, so it's something we have to keep an eye on. We were home for only 10 minutes when I had to call the hospital because Hannah was flushed and had a temp of 100.3. Anything of 100.4 in chemo patients warrants an automatic trip to the hospital to be sure there is no infection. The doctors said to wait a 1/2 hour, and retest. I gave her a quick bath, and started unpacking and repacking our bag. Luckily, the temp went down, and it's almost normal now.
She is very tired, due to her blood counts:
WBC 2.31 Acceptable but range is 4.6-10.2
ANC 1917 Nearly normal, this is the level to fight off infection
HgB 9 Low, range is 12.2-18.1
PLT 78 Extremely low, should be 142-424
The doctor said these low platelet and red blood counts already indicate the need for a platelet infusion, and to be prepared to stay for that when we come in next week (it takes 4 hours minimum). Between now and then Hannah will be on G-CSF (Neupogen) shots at home to boost her white blood cell count. Unfortunately, it doesn't do anything to increase her platelet or red blood cells, those have to come back on their own.
A home care nurse will come tomorrow to instruct me on how to give the shot. If there is one thing that Hannah really does not like through all of this, it is all the pokes from the shots, IV's, and the port accesses. She was not happy today when they gave her the shot in the hospital, and I'm not quite sure how I'm going to be able to do it here. It took two of us today to give it to her. But, it's important she have them, to help increase her white blood cells.
It's good to be back home. Also, we want to say thank you to all of the people supplying us with such great food. I do not have emails for most of you, to email you personally, but we would like you to know what a big help it's been to us. Everything is so yummy!
xoKim
She is very tired, due to her blood counts:
WBC 2.31 Acceptable but range is 4.6-10.2
ANC 1917 Nearly normal, this is the level to fight off infection
HgB 9 Low, range is 12.2-18.1
PLT 78 Extremely low, should be 142-424
The doctor said these low platelet and red blood counts already indicate the need for a platelet infusion, and to be prepared to stay for that when we come in next week (it takes 4 hours minimum). Between now and then Hannah will be on G-CSF (Neupogen) shots at home to boost her white blood cell count. Unfortunately, it doesn't do anything to increase her platelet or red blood cells, those have to come back on their own.
A home care nurse will come tomorrow to instruct me on how to give the shot. If there is one thing that Hannah really does not like through all of this, it is all the pokes from the shots, IV's, and the port accesses. She was not happy today when they gave her the shot in the hospital, and I'm not quite sure how I'm going to be able to do it here. It took two of us today to give it to her. But, it's important she have them, to help increase her white blood cells.
It's good to be back home. Also, we want to say thank you to all of the people supplying us with such great food. I do not have emails for most of you, to email you personally, but we would like you to know what a big help it's been to us. Everything is so yummy!
xoKim
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