Thursday, May 29, 2008

RELAY FOR LIFE UPDATE...115 LUMINARIAS!!!!

This is so much more than we could have ever guessed or hoped for. We got another order today for another 7 bags...thank you everyone for your support. As the Relay for Life draws closer, I am more and more happy that we decided to do this for Hannah. We had a meeting last night, and just to hear the committee talk about the Relay, how it's so much more than just raising money for research. The theme is "Celebrate, Remember, Fight Back." They celebrate the survivors, remember those who have lost their battle with cancer, and fight back by raising money to try to find a cure.

Survivors are honestly celebrated and honored during the Relay. This is exactly what I was hoping for for Hannah. I wanted to do the Relay to show her that she is not alone in this battle, and that she is a winner. She seems discouraged lately by everything. In the neurologist's office this week out of the blue she asked me "when am I going to be able to do things like other kids?" When I asked her "like what", she answered "run." I reminded her that she ran the bases with her sister's softball team last week, but she still seemed discouraged. I think that since her feet hurt again, she is really bothered because she can't run now, and she thinks about it often. This morning she cried because her feet hurt again and she wouldn't be able to keep up with the class today. What do you say to that? "It doesn't matter" or "that's what Mrs. W is there for, it's ok." But even if it doesn't matter, it does to her, and it's bothering her. When I asked her what else she wants to do that she can't, she said "I don't want to talk about it anymore, just act like I didn't say anything."

She wanted to play soccer this summer, but now she is wavering on that, I think because her feet hurt and she is afraid she won't be able to play normally. Since our summer break is quickly approaching, people are signing their kids up for camps, and a few people have asked her what she is doing this summer. That just draws attention to it, and she has to think about it. I have tried to talk to her to suggest things for the summer, but she really doesn't have a desire to do something in particular, she just knows that she will be left out of what other kids are doing. At least we have the pool, so that will be a very big welcome distraction. I have a feeling I'll be wet most of the summer. Once that heater is hooked up, that's the end of dry land for me. I don't expect to get much of anything done this summer.


One other story I want to share with you. I don't think I have mentioned here before that when Hannah had her initial surgery at Stony Brook, she had her beloved lambie with her. This was a special lamb to her, although she didn't sleep with it every night, she always knew it was around. It was very loved, kind of dirty, tag ripped and had a hole in it. Well somehow we lost it at the hospital. My mom even called the laundry at the hospital to see if they found him, but it was hopeless. Hannah mentioned lambie a few times since then, but over the past 6 months or so, she has asked for him increasingly. She would cry and cry over it, asking me nearly every day where lambie was. Following Coleman's mom's lead, I went on ebay, and can you believe that I found lambie? The same exact lambie, brand new. So I ordered it and told Hannah that lambie had been sent to the animal repair hospital when she went to the hospital. Remember in the Wizard of Oz when they all went to get shined up and restuffed and spiffed up? Well that's what I told Hannah about lambie. So when he arrived, along with a note about where he had been, and that he missed her, she was a bit skeptical, but the happiness washed right over that. Actually her words were "Grandma sent him to be fixed and he is!" So, Grandma, how did you manage that one? I told her that lambie was as good as new, and that he must have had a stem cell transplant to look this good! I don't think she cares, she sleeps with him now every night and makes sure he doesn't leave her bed.

xoxo Kim