Sunday, November 9, 2008

More to add later, but a quick note about our friend Coleman. We were just heartbroken to hear that his latest scans at MSK in NYC show growth of the cancer. This now makes him ineligible for more chemo, and for the antibody treatment at MSK also. This is not good news at all. The family is still praying for a miracle, let's join them....

http://www.carepages.com/carepages/ColemanScott/


♥Kim

Thursday, November 6, 2008


Unfortunately, this has been Hannah the last 2 days. Yesterday, we went to school, but instead of going in, sat outside for 1/2 hour in the car, laying down, hoping to feel better. We came home. She went to bed, slept until 12:30pm and didn't eat anything until 6:00pm.  She seemed to be fine after that and finished all of her homework. 

Today, she ate very little before going to school complaining of a stomach ache even worse than yesterday morning. The school nurse called twice before lunch, and said Hannah's stomach ache was a 9 today out of 10. We negotiated with Hannah to stay through lunch, and I would pick her up if her stomach ache/headache didn't improve. She hung in there and stayed the day, then went to swimming afterwards. She ate dinner fine tonight, and even had a night time snack. 

We added Zantac to her routine tonight. I did give her some this morning, but it did not help. I gave her a pill tonight, then tomorrow morning I'll give her the Kytril at double dose and see how that works. The doctors said we'll just keep experimenting until something works. This could continue for years, it's a product of the tumor site and very common with medullo kids.

For those of you out there that have had morning sickness, it's what I compare it to. Can you image having it for years on end? 

God speed to Aunt Marietta, my mom's sister who passed away this week from cancer (what else??) I really wish I could have traveled to Indiana to attend the funeral, but they all know I was there in spirit. She will be missed by all.


♥Kim

Monday, November 3, 2008

I just wanted to post a few pictures of the girls from Halloween night. We had a good time, and now have much too much candy at home. It's funny, but I think I'm the only one that hears it calling my name day and night. Colby and Hannah haven't even looked at the bags since they came home!

♥Kim





Saturday, November 1, 2008

What a weekend it's been. Let's start with today. A very big THANK YOU to all of you who helped us raise $568 for The Smiles for Scott Foundation. Thank you to everyone who sent money, baked goodies and came by to buy from us. Hannah was in charge the whole day, and she did great. Besides all the baking she did, she made signs, organized the table, took photos, encouraged people to come over to the table to buy, and even took a platter and went door to door to the businesses! She is planning on putting a bake sale video on YouTube, so I'll let you know when it's finished. Here are a few pictures from the day. I hope you can read the one of the sign with Hannah's watermelon cookies (her favorite because they taste like the candy cane cookies Mom). The sign reads:  Good kind of dough with chocolate supposed to be watermelon.  I didn't change any of her signs, I loved them!



Hannah very proudly told everyone about the "boy named Scott who died." I even had someone tell me they were familiar with the Smiles for Scott Foundation! That's great!

More on Halloween, school, etc. etc. later. For now, I am signing off to set my clocks back...yeh!!

♥Kim

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

On the way to the hospital this morning, I told Hannah she would need to take the clips out of her hair because we didn't want them to get caught up in the machine. She said I don't know why I'm going anyway, I don't have a brain tumor anymore. Thank goodness she is RIGHT! Her MRI checked out fine, and although we don't have the report yet, the radiologist reported that there is no sign of tumor, and her ventricles are normal size (meaning she doesn't have hydrocephalus.) 

We finished our MRI about 1pm. Hannah did very well, even though they tricked her today. The doctor called down to MRI and wanted them to draw blood for her labs, since she was getting an iv anyway, they figured it was easier than also having her get a finger stick. However, that meant that they put the iv in at the beginning of the MRI and had to leave it in for the entire MRI. She was NOT happy about that. Usually they put it in, shoot in the contrast, and take it right out. It takes all of 30 seconds. She shed a few tears, but laid very still and did great. 

On the other hand, I was paranoid the whole time. Another doctor came into the viewing room during the MRI and I was wondering why 2 doctors, is there a problem? Then the tech was standing up, looking at the monitor and I was wondering..is there a problem? When we got upstairs to clinic, the doctor walked quickly by us, not really looking at us and I was wondering...is there a problem?  When we finally got into the room 1 1/2 hours later to meet with them, I couldn't even look at the doctor. I didn't ask her anything, I just sat there waiting and looking at her face (which was smiling) and wondering...is there a problem? Is she smiling because she knows after she tells me I'm going to fall apart? 

But, the first thing she said was "the MRI was good, no problems." I just let out a big sigh of relief. I have thought and thought so many times about what it would be like if they told me the tumor was back. What would I do, what would I tell Hannah, what would I write on the blog? What would happen? I think my mind built a barrier around itself and when I heard everything was clear, it was a relief, but it was also a reality check, the reality being I really was not ready to face the possibility that Hannah's tumor was back. It's almost like a bad dream. You know you had a dream, and you can feel the terrible after affects of the dream, but you can't quite pin down exactly what happened in the dream. You just know that when you woke up, you didn't want to go back to sleep. I thought maybe this was how the parents feel whose children have relapsed, whose children have died. I felt a twinge of sadness and guilt because we got good results, and so many out there have not. So many out there don't have their children to put to bed tonight. 

What a rollercoaster. Hannah's blood counts also all looked good, and for the first time in a long time, they are all in normal range, both reds and whites.  We celebrated on the way home with dinner at Olive Garden, our favorite after MRI restaurant. We both danced in our seats to Frank Sinatra songs and ate lots of breadsticks. Oh, and did homework too. Hannah got an ice cream sundae to top it all off. We go back next month for a spinal MRI and check up, just before Thanksgiving.

Thank you to all of you who prayed with us, thought of us, and supported up today. It was an especially stressful day, and we couldn't have asked for better. That feels good to say!

I also wanted to provide an update on Hannah's Cans for Cancer.  Today we delivered three big bags of goodies to the hospital and they were so excited. Here is Hannah getting all of the goodies ready. Hannah worked over the past month to place a big order for crafts, and we visited Walmart one day for a HUGE shopping spree for both Schneider's and the Boston Rehab Hospital. We had so much in our cart, people were staring. We were checking out and the lady with her daughter behind us thought maybe we were preparing for a party of some sort. We told her about our mission, and next thing you know, she gave us $20 for Cans for Cancer. Isn't that great? So, here is an update on our funds:

Total raised: $9,990.21
Total donated: $7,175.69
Total remaining in fund: $2,814.52


AMAZING! Thank you to everyone for your generosity and inspirational efforts and creative ideas to raise money. Our last donation was from our wonderful friends Tom and Sue, who had a party and donated the money from all the recycled cans and bottles. I think they drank A LOT!! Thank you so much Sue and Tom. We will definitely soar past that $10,000 mark after our BAKE SALE this weekend for The Smiles for Scott Foundation. Please come out to stock up on some yummy baked goods this Saturday, November 1st at 9am on Love Lane. 

♥Kim



Sunday, October 26, 2008

Anybody up for some cookies? Some brownies? Cupcakes? Fun? 

The bake sale is on for this Saturday, November 1st, beginning at 9am. 

We will be out on Love Lane, so if you're local, come on by. I looked back, and last year we were done in about 2 hours, so come early to get some goodies! With the help of many of you, and with Grandma and Grandpa kicking in too, we raised $400 for the Smiles for Scott Foundation. This year, we hope it's more! Also, if you would like to bake with us, we would be happy to have it! So far we have donations of chocolate chip cookies and irish soda bread, yippee!! Please drop off any goodies at our house by Friday. You can leave it downstairs on the bench inside the house, the door will be open for you. It does not need to be packaged, we will do that here, if it's something like cookies, because we're putting everything in bags of equal packages so that everything (almost everything) can be sold for one price.  And if it looks really good, it will never make it to the sale, because we'll be taste testing it in our own kitchen....JUST KIDDING!! 

So now you know what we have been doing nonstop. Today we made three different kinds of cookies-Russian Teacakes, Watermelon Slice Cookies, and animal cookies on a stick. We have yet to bake two of them, that is on the agenda for tomorrow. Believe me, the last thing I wanted to do was stand in the kitchen today for hours making cookies (the couch was calling me loud and clear) but once we got started it wasn't too bad. Hannah just loves to bake, so that makes it fun.

No more nausea/vomiting issues since the last one, so that's good. She is having some emotional issues though. Now, I could let my mind wander here and think-is it some kind of tumor growth causing issues in her brain? I guess that would be a stretch, wouldn't it (just nod your head yes here, thank you.) I think it's more like residual issues from the removal of the tumor (possible posterior fossa syndrome.) It's hard to tell, but once it gets started, she can't control it. Tonight she threw something and broke a key on Colby's computer. That started a long rage that was finally calmed by Dave holding her tightly while she was kicking and screaming and biting like crazy. She then let me carry her to bed, and she calmed down.

We were talking a bit about it in bed, and she said "I can't help it, I just get so mad and then I bite. You know mom, I was always a biter." I just had to laugh silently. She is correct there, when she was little, we had a terrible time trying to get her to stop biting. One time when her cousin Sydney was visiting, we were all at the aquarium and Hannah got mad and bit Sydney. We have a picture of the girls together, Colby and Sydney are smiling, but Hannah  is crying. I had the photo out for a while, and Hannah used to get so mad looking at it. For a long time she denied that she had bit Sydney. Tonight we were laughing that when Sydney was just learning to talk, she used to say "Annah bites" because she couldn't say Hannah.

It's difficult for Hannah, it's difficult for Colby, and for all of us. It's hard to explain how it happens, and how bad it really is. She knows afterwards that what she has just done is not right, but she just can't stop it. She told me that last week she had a "fit" at school over a science project. It took her a long time to get calmed down. It's something we need to address and we are looking into that.

Signing off for now, hope you all had a great weekend,

♥Kim



Saturday, October 25, 2008

So the good, the bad and the ugly, where should we start?

How about the good? Hannah had her first sleepover since she was diagnosed at her friend Mary Kate's house. All in all, she did very well. I was half way expecting a call during the night, but she was fine! It's nice to do something so normal for a change.

How about the bad? Well we're hoping it's not bad, we're praying it's not bad, it just can't be bad. Hannah seems to be having an increase in her stomach issues in the morning. Since our last clinic visit, she has vomited probably 4 times. She has slight headaches, but nothing significant. The doctors have decided to move up her MRI from next month to this month. It won't hurt, and we might as well check it out. They told me that many medullo kids have nausea issues for years after their treatment, but because Hannah's issues seem to be increasing, they might as well just check it out. Her MRI is scheduled for Tuesday at noon, then we have her monthly checkup at 4pm. We will have the MRI results by then. So, between noon and 4pm, I'll be doing everything I can not to think about it. I'll have Hannah with me, so that will certainly be a distraction. Sometimes I think she never stops.

How about the ugly? Well, this is ugly.

I went back to the hospital on Friday to have my pic line changed to my upper arm. It has been so painful the way it was put in. The doctor tried multiple times...multiple... and couldn't get it in anywhere else. He finally ended up just adjusting my current line, after about an hour of multiple pokes, and numbing injections. I was so numb, I couldn't feel my fingers. I just closed my eyes and kept thinking "Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, this is NOTHING compared to what Hannah had to endure."

One more thing to share tonight. I am lifting this from Coleman's website. I found it very insightful myself, interesting. I want to point out that like Peggy, Coleman's mom, I'm not asking for any donations to one group or another, just making you aware of some interesting information as to where our money goes when we donate. This is by no means a comprehensive list, but these are some of the most popular places to donate. I had posted some information earlier this year about American Cancer Society, this information here is a bit more comprehensive. Thank you Peggy and AJ's dad, Bob.

A HUGE thanks to Bob for his dedication and hard work in gathering this valuable info! Please read what he’s gathered…AND above all, please join in helping make a difference. There are so many things you can do right from where you are sitting now… PLEASE join click and go to PeopleAgainstChildhoodCancer we need all the help we can get!
***After you read it, you can make up your own mind.***
Taken from Aj’s page- Bob writes….
Prior to Fathers Day 2007, I had not thought how funding for cancer research worked. That all changed. I wanted to share some facts, thoughts and observations based on my experiences and research. I only seek to inform. I will not suggest what charity you should support. But, unless the funds are directed towards the right research, PAC2 will only continue to grow, and I want to shut it down. Let's just look at a few of the big boys that are competing for your money.

Let's start here - Hospitals
When a child is treated, the hospital incurs costs and produces a bill. The bill covers labor (docs, nurses, admin, etc), supplies, new equipment and other operating costs, and, if it has a facility, research. Obviously not all hospitals have research labs, and the size and funding varies.
The bills may not cover all these costs or the hospital may want funds for new equipment, research or new buildings, so hospitals have a fundraising arm. If the facility has a research facility, research may be into cures and treatment of any disease you can imagine. Some may go towards cancer research, both adult and childhood cancers. So, if you give to XXX Hospital, your money is directed towards many various causes, an unknown portion related to childhood cancer research.

OK, how about the biggest (baddest?) kid on the block? The American Cancer Society.
The mission statement of the American Cancer Society (ACS) reads: "Founded in 1913, the American Cancer Society (ACS) is the nationwide community-based voluntary health organization dedicated to eliminating cancer as a major health problem by preventing cancer, saving lives, and diminishing suffering from cancer, through research, education, advocacy, and service. With more than two million volunteers nationwide, the ACS is one of the oldest and largest voluntary health agencies in the United States. "
Many chose to become involved with the ACS fundraising events, including the "Relay for Life". The funds collected by the ACS are used for many causes. The chart shows the various things supported (from the ACS 2006-2007 Fiscal Year).



Looks black and white to me. The numbers speak for themselves with regard to the funding for childhood cancer, but just to be clear, 2.96% of funds are directed towards the entire suite of childhood cancers. Imagine you participate in a Relay-For-Life. You raise $2,000. $200 (10%) goes to admin, fundraising expenses take another 22%, or $440. Of the remaining $1360, 2.96%, or $59 of the that original $2000 you raised will be directly targeted towards childhood cancer.
Overall, Charity Navigator gives ACS 2 of 4 stars, same as last year. For fundraising efficiency, ACS receives 1 of 4 stars, same as last year. John Seffrin, Chief Executive Officer earns $619,551 or 0.06% of expenses. Program expenses (what it spends on the programs and services it exists to deliver) are 68%, admin 10% and fundraising expenses 22%. Total revenue last year was $1.029 Billion.
Why, when less than 3% of the funds are directed at childhood cancer, do we see so many childhood cancer victims in the ACS literature?
(I know I will hear the "well research into adult cancers can benefit children" argument. Well, most adult cancers do not occur in children. And simple downsizing of adult doses is where we are at now, and the long term consequences have been demonstrated time and again and again and again to be simply unacceptable. We need targeted research! More on that to come.)

Another contender? The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society



From its website: "The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS) is the world's largest voluntary health organization dedicated to funding blood cancer research, education and patient services. The mission of LLS is to cure leukemia, lymphoma, Hodgkin's disease and myeloma, and improve the quality of life of patients and their families. Since its founding in 1949, LLS has invested more than $600 million for research specifically targeting blood cancers."
I am sure that many of you have had excellent experiences with the LLS. Many chose to become involved with the LLS fundraising events, including the "Light the Night" and "Team in Training". The funds collected by the LLS are used for many causes. The chart shows the various things supported (2006 data). I could not locate data on funding directed to childhood cancer. But, the chart shows 26.7% is directed at research. How much of that do YOU think is directed at childhood cancer research?
Overall, Charity Navigator gives LLS 3 of 4 stars, same as last year. For fundraising efficiency, LLS receives 2 of 4 stars, same as last year. Dwayne Howell, the President, CEO earns $494,867 or 0.21% of expenses. Program expenses are 72%, admin 10% and fundraising expenses 18%. Total revenue last year was $230 million.
Has anyone seen the percentage of LLS funds directed towards pediatric blood cancer research?

Can't argue with success - Susan G Komen
Susan G. Komen for the Cure, formerly known as Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation, was established in 1982 by Nancy G. Brinker. Nancy G. Brinker promised her dying sister, Susan G. Komen, that she would do everything in her power to end breast cancer forever. Today, Komen for the Cure is the world's largest grassroots network of breast cancer survivors and activists fighting to save lives, empower people, ensure quality care for all and energize science to find the cures. Thanks to events like the Komen Race for the Cure, we have invested nearly $1 billion to fulfill our promise, becoming the largest source of nonprofit funds dedicated to the fight against breast cancer in the world.
Overall, Charity Navigator gives SGK 4 of 4 stars, same as last year. For fundraising efficiency, SGK receives 4 of 4 stars, same as last year. Patrice Tosi, C0O, earns $513,095 or 0.21% of expenses. Program expenses are 83%, admin 10% and fundraising expenses 7%. Total revenue last year was $275 million.

The largest childhood foundation - Cure Search
CureSearch National Childhood Cancer Foundation is dedicated to raising private funds for childhood cancer research for the Children's Oncology Group, the world's largest cooperative cancer research organization. Together, we are committed to conquering childhood cancer through scientific discovery and compassionate care. CureSearch Children's Oncology Group is a network of more than 5,000 physicians, nurses, and scientists whose collaboration, research and care have turned childhood cancer from a virtually incurable disease to one with an overall 78% cure rate.
Overall, Charity Navigator gives CureSearch 4 of 4 stars, same as last year. For fundraising efficiency, CureSearch receives 4 of 4 stars, same as last year. Clarence T. Schmitz, Chairman, earns $0 (that's right). Gregroy H. Reaman, Executive Director, Scientific & Medical Affairs earns $340,000 or 0.62% of expenses. Program expenses are 95%, admin 3% and fundraising expenses 2%. Total revenue last year was $52 million. Efficiency wise, CureSearch knocks the socks off the ACS and LLS, and is even better than the truly exemplary Susan G Koman!
To take that ACS example again, of the $2000 you raise, a full $1900 is directed towards childhood cancer!
Obviously CureSearch is not the only childhood cancer charity. It should be noted that its mission is unique in the CC world, in that it collaborates and coordinates with over 200 Children's Oncology Group (COG) hospitals and their 5,000 members, as well as the National Childhood Cancer Foundation, with an ultimate mission to cure childhood cancer. This link shows some of the major diseases and areas that CureSearch researches, and tells more about COG.

Discussion
There are so many other worthy causes associated with childhood cancer; local family support organizations, St. Baldricks and Alex's Lemonade Stand to name two TOP ones; Ronald McDonald House (2 stars because its revenue declines year after year), Make-A-Wish (3 star, 74% programs, 10% admin, 16% fundraising), Candlelighters (not ranked), etc. Not to mention the parent-led Foundations, who may contribute to support, hospitals, or other.
OK, there are many organizations competing for your dollar. Other diseases, United Way, March of Dimes, Red Cross, Save the Whales, World Wildlife Foundation, you get the idea. There are over 900,000 registered with the IRS. It must be a pretty competitive business eh? Well, especially in these economic times, you can bet your last dollar that the competitiveness will only increase.
But undoubtedly, these organizations would choose to work together for the betterment of their cause right? Call me cynical. I mean they would not let egos or self interest get involved would they? You decide that for yourself.
Or they wouldn't try to accumulate wealth within the organization would they? Well here's an example, the ACS currently holds $1.4 BILLION in ASSETS (yes its a B)- money they have raised and not distributed to programs! In Fiscal Year 2006 the had an excess (revenue - expenses) of $88 million - about 22 times what they awarded to childhood cancer programs! Sure, I understand holding some back for a down year, but $88 MILLION? CAN YOU IMAGINE IF THAT HAD JUST DOUBLED THE AMOUNT TO CHILDHOOD CANCER LAST YEAR???? Why would they hold it??? Well, the nature of the charity business is that it is a business.
In the end, it's your call. Decide if you want to provide support for research for a cure, support building a new playroom in the hospital, support other families in difficult economic circumstances, and what percentage of your donation you want to go to childhood cancer. I just wanted to show some of the differences, raise a few questions for the community, and to get some stuff off my chest.

Peggy then raised the question to AJ's Dad Bob (cp: ajsspace) about where money goes when we donate to St. Jude... he did some research and here is what he found:

There are several questions on St. Judes. I have reviewed the 2007 Annual Report. Funds donated to St. Judes go towards:
1 - Operating expenses of the hospital - 33%
2 - All research (cancer & non-cancer related) - 32%
3 - Education/training - 10%
4 - Fundraising - 15%
5 - Admin & General - 10%
Revenue for 2007 was $990,652,000, with expenses of $646,310,000. (I suppose that includes the $420k the CEO makes) So, they stashed $336 million, bringing their total Net Assets to a cool $2.1 Billion! Charity Navigator ranks them a 2 of 4 stars for fundraising efficiency.
In 2007, $212 million went to research. A monetary breakdown of the research grants is not available on the St. Judes website. The website does "highlight" some research. The areas are shown below (** = cancer related, -- non-cancer related):
** Antibody therapy promising for pediatric neuroblastoma
-- Evidence links cocaine abuse and Parkinson's disease
-- Synaptic connections need nurturing to retain their structure and keep outsiders at bay
** Ink4c and Ptch1 genes collaborate to suppress medulloblastoma
** New treatment could save vision of children with advanced eye cancer and prevent its recurrence following therapy
** Subtypes of ependymomas arise from rare stem cells in the nervous system
-- Mechanism controlling DNA damage response has potential novel medical applications
** Children and adolescents with advanced cancer can make complex end-of-life care decisions (duh!)
** Suppression of FOXO1a gene might kill resistant ARMS tumors
-- Defective lymphatic vessels identified as a novel cause of adult-onset obesity
-- Drug resistant avian influenza viruses more common in Southeast Asia than North America
** Anti-tumor activity also plays a critical role during eye development in the embryo
-- Genetically modified cells migrate to brain and treat neurodegeneration in St. Jude model
-- Oral liquid hydroxyurea promising for long-term use in babies with sickle cell anemia
** Pattern of gene expression predicts multiple drug resistance, treatment failure in pediatric leukemia
** Both inherited traits and tumor mutations affect response to treatment of leukemia
While I certainly may have misclassified some of there, generally, it looks like about a 50/50 split on cancer related and other research. Additionally, there is no way to know the amount of funding for these specific grants, or if there are other grants not listed on the webpage.
But, the bottom line with St. Judes is you are donating to pay for hospital operating expenses (33%), research (32% with an estimated 1/2 of that going towards childhood cancer), and education, fundraising and general/admin (35%).
So, you give $100, some portion of $32 goes towards childhood cancer research.

Thanks for the info Bob and Peggy! If you made it this far, it's pretty “interesting” data wouldn’t you say?
Please join us in making a difference,

click and join PeopleAgainstChildhoodCancer.


♥Kim