Tuesday, October 28, 2008

On the way to the hospital this morning, I told Hannah she would need to take the clips out of her hair because we didn't want them to get caught up in the machine. She said I don't know why I'm going anyway, I don't have a brain tumor anymore. Thank goodness she is RIGHT! Her MRI checked out fine, and although we don't have the report yet, the radiologist reported that there is no sign of tumor, and her ventricles are normal size (meaning she doesn't have hydrocephalus.) 

We finished our MRI about 1pm. Hannah did very well, even though they tricked her today. The doctor called down to MRI and wanted them to draw blood for her labs, since she was getting an iv anyway, they figured it was easier than also having her get a finger stick. However, that meant that they put the iv in at the beginning of the MRI and had to leave it in for the entire MRI. She was NOT happy about that. Usually they put it in, shoot in the contrast, and take it right out. It takes all of 30 seconds. She shed a few tears, but laid very still and did great. 

On the other hand, I was paranoid the whole time. Another doctor came into the viewing room during the MRI and I was wondering why 2 doctors, is there a problem? Then the tech was standing up, looking at the monitor and I was wondering..is there a problem? When we got upstairs to clinic, the doctor walked quickly by us, not really looking at us and I was wondering...is there a problem?  When we finally got into the room 1 1/2 hours later to meet with them, I couldn't even look at the doctor. I didn't ask her anything, I just sat there waiting and looking at her face (which was smiling) and wondering...is there a problem? Is she smiling because she knows after she tells me I'm going to fall apart? 

But, the first thing she said was "the MRI was good, no problems." I just let out a big sigh of relief. I have thought and thought so many times about what it would be like if they told me the tumor was back. What would I do, what would I tell Hannah, what would I write on the blog? What would happen? I think my mind built a barrier around itself and when I heard everything was clear, it was a relief, but it was also a reality check, the reality being I really was not ready to face the possibility that Hannah's tumor was back. It's almost like a bad dream. You know you had a dream, and you can feel the terrible after affects of the dream, but you can't quite pin down exactly what happened in the dream. You just know that when you woke up, you didn't want to go back to sleep. I thought maybe this was how the parents feel whose children have relapsed, whose children have died. I felt a twinge of sadness and guilt because we got good results, and so many out there have not. So many out there don't have their children to put to bed tonight. 

What a rollercoaster. Hannah's blood counts also all looked good, and for the first time in a long time, they are all in normal range, both reds and whites.  We celebrated on the way home with dinner at Olive Garden, our favorite after MRI restaurant. We both danced in our seats to Frank Sinatra songs and ate lots of breadsticks. Oh, and did homework too. Hannah got an ice cream sundae to top it all off. We go back next month for a spinal MRI and check up, just before Thanksgiving.

Thank you to all of you who prayed with us, thought of us, and supported up today. It was an especially stressful day, and we couldn't have asked for better. That feels good to say!

I also wanted to provide an update on Hannah's Cans for Cancer.  Today we delivered three big bags of goodies to the hospital and they were so excited. Here is Hannah getting all of the goodies ready. Hannah worked over the past month to place a big order for crafts, and we visited Walmart one day for a HUGE shopping spree for both Schneider's and the Boston Rehab Hospital. We had so much in our cart, people were staring. We were checking out and the lady with her daughter behind us thought maybe we were preparing for a party of some sort. We told her about our mission, and next thing you know, she gave us $20 for Cans for Cancer. Isn't that great? So, here is an update on our funds:

Total raised: $9,990.21

Total donated: $7,175.69

Total remaining in fund: $2,814.52

AMAZING! Thank you to everyone for your generosity and inspirational efforts and creative ideas to raise money. Our last donation was from our wonderful friends Tom and Sue, who had a party and donated the money from all the recycled cans and bottles. I think they drank A LOT!! Thank you so much Sue and Tom. We will definitely soar past that $10,000 mark after our BAKE SALE this weekend for The Smiles for Scott Foundation. Please come out to stock up on some yummy baked goods this Saturday, November 1st at 9am on Love Lane. 

♥Kim