Tuesday, Feb. 19, 2008

I did not have a big update thought out for tonight, but as I go from website to website reading about all of these kids and their fights to live, it just gets to be a bit overwhelming. I follow several other kids websites, some of whom have already earned their angel wings. It seems that the more sites I visit, the more sites there are, one leads to another to another. So many children have life threatening cancer, it's just hard to believe. I can relate to their pain, their sorrow at having lost their hopes and dreams for their "normal" child after they are diagnosed. Everything changes for the child and their family, even if they are survivors. I realized for the first time tonight that that is what Hannah is: A SURVIVOR!!! She has beaten back this big bad monster called cancer, and whether this lasts for a month or a year, or a lifetime, it's something to shout to the heavens and back: HANNAH BEAT CANCER!!

I often find my self caught up still in the world of hurt and pain and suffering for these children. Even though Hannah continues to make strides almost weekly, it's hard not to wonder what lies ahead. Then last week I read on Coleman's website that his last MRI showed signs of reduction in his tumors (he has recurrent medulloblastoma), which is somewhat of a miracle!! Go Coleman!! He and his brother are so cute and so feisty, I love to read their website, it's so entertaining and Peggy makes you feel as if you were right there. Check out this excerpt from their site from Coleman and his twin Caden and you will know what I mean:

Okay, I’ll leave you with a little story that I debated on sharing since I really don’t want to offend anyone, but if any of you have a four year old boy at home, I think you can relate.
Last night’s bedtime comments:
Coleman: Mommy? Why do you wear a bra?
Caden: She has-ta wear one so her boobies don’t fall off Coleman.
Coleman: WHY?
Caden: Tuz they are a wittle woose! (a little loose)


Forgive me Peggy if you are reading this! After their good news in the midst of their very serious situation, Peggy chose to relish in the situation, rejoice and be happy rather than think of what may still lie ahead for Coleman. Her exact thoughts were that she was not going to let her fear rob her of celebrating.

That was like a wake up call to me: don't let fear rob you of moving forward in your lives. Celebrate that Hannah has beaten this beast and has won her battle. It's sad to say that so many others have not. I have fear, I have so much fear. In the back of my mind is always precious little King Julian who lost his battle with medulloblastoma. He recurred only 6 months after his chemo ended and HE HAD THE SAME EXACT THING THAT HANNAH HAD. Therein lies my fear. But I can choose to focus on that sadness, or choose like Peggy to try and put down my fears and celebrate!! I choose a celebration. That is the path that Hannah seems to have unconsciously chosen for all of us. The path of "there is nothing wrong with me anymore, the tumor is gone and my hair is growing back, let's move on!" So I will follow her lead and move on. I will not lead fear control my days and nights anymore (at least not outwardly). I will celebrate where we are now and where we are headed. As Hannah would say to me "what's this WE stuff? I am the one that had cancer, not you." She always puts it in a such nice way!!!

At least she didn't say I'm a "wittle woose!"

xoxo Kim

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well Hi there Kim and Hannah!
I saw that you signed Kasey's page! I thank you so much for your note and the OK to use Hannah as an example of childhood cancer! I am so glad to hear she is doing well! That is huge inspiration to me and others like us. Even though, my son had a different type of tumor.... the aggravation is still the same! So.. we will be praying for great things for your family as Hannah moves on in her journey!
I have been to Great Neck NY. Is that anywhere near you guys? After my husband and I got married, we flew into Jersey and my brother picked us up and drove us to his base.. he was in the Coast Guard there. Then we came back for his wedding... I can't for the life of me remember where that was. Someplace on Long Island. I will think about it. You guys have probably been there!It was really nice.
Well... thanks again for checkin on Kasey.
I will check you guys too from time to time!
Have a good Wednesday!

Amy Radford... Kasey's mom
www.caringbridge.org/visit/kaseyradford

Anonymous said...

Ha! Ha! Those are cute stories and so important to share!

There is a little boy in our area who is actually at St. Jude with his family right now. He's not doing well and Make A Wish just came in and gave them an amazing trip to Disney. It took away from his sickness and gave them a memorable week. His mother is struggling with the fact that he's losing his battle and she said that she can't live each day in sadness because she has so few moments left with Camden - so she chooses to live each moment with him with joy and will leave the worry and sadness for later.

I think that Hannah is an amazing child and because she came from you and Dave, that's a credit to both of you. She has your spirit, generosity, personality, and will to live life to its fullest.

Hannah has the GREATEST support system all over the United States....she can survive anything because of that!

We love you all lots and lots. I know that in all of your dealing with children facing cancer you feel the grief and sadness of other parents, but you should celebrate the fact that Hannah beat cancer.....it's quite a feat and we are all so proud of her. And we will continue to pray for good health in all of you.

Take care and don't forget - we love you!

Angela

Anonymous said...

Ahhh Kim,
Kim, Kim, Kim...haha I don't mind a bit that you shared my "boobie story" It still makes me laugh- and you know laughter is THE best medicine always. I sometimes think I am ready for the nutward, but then I remember I'm already there! :)
I've decided to celebrate because the fear really makes me sick- I hate it. Not to say it's gone, but I can't live like that...I decided we'd miss out on too much.
So, I'm glad you feel the same- boy, I'm behind on reading pages and you guys have been busy! So HAPPY Hannah seems to be feeling really good and she is looking GREAT! BEAUTIFUL smile Hannah- keep it up!

Love your blog Kim...Hannah's journey is an inspiration. She's BEAT it! and THAT's worth celebrating every SINGLE day! :)
Love from Iowa,
The Larson crew
Scott, Peggy, Caden and THE Cole-man
cp: colemanscott

Anonymous said...

Dear Hannah Love and family,
How is everyone? Enjoying your week off from school! I certaily am.I even took time off from the library to take time to visit my duaghters'. Right now I am visiting with my grandson- he ia just awesome!!!
I am so happy to hear you are getting stronger everyday and your appetite has improved.
As always Hannah, you keep yourself so busy and not much keeps you down. You go my kindred spirited girl. Wow, your hair looks great can't wait to see the true color.
Great news on your swimming- you exhaust me send some energy myway.
keep up the good work, but don't overdue yourself to get too run down.
Kim, thank you for all the information you post on the fight for cancer for kids campaign. I know you will be a good voice for so many. You andyour family are such an inspiration to all of us.
Look forward to more information on Hannah's Cans For Cancer as well.
I wish you all brighter days and much peace and celebration of this journey you have come through. May God continue to light your paths always.
I Love You Much,
Love & Blessings,
Mrs. Baker (Lynnis)

Anonymous said...

Dear Hannah.I read your stories that your mom writes about you.They're great stories.As I read your stories I get pictures of you doing those things with someone or without someone.I'm happy that you're getting better through your journey. Just hold on to your dreams and they may come true.Thanks for being so nice to me and the people around you. I appreciate that.your a very nice and kind person Hannah Prokop. From Melanie Pfennig